i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
