I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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