Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
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I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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