saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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