I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize