I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize