Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
