After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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