I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Randomize
