oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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