They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
