Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
