What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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