What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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