Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
