watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
