Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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