don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
