I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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