I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Randomize
