What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I could make wine with my vomit
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
