My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
