you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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