If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize