new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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