Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
