you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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