let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
