we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
