i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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