Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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