he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
