even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
being pregnant is like rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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