you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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