My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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