how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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