I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
