i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
