So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
