Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
