this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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