office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
