i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
