Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
