I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
