Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
