My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
