how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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