I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
