i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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