I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
