Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
