Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
