I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
