is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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