Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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