That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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