No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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