Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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