Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
A+ Viking dick
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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