i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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