ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
In America we eat man semen.
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doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
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While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's shark week go big or go home
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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