I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
