It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
