Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
