I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
