That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
